Helping your parent with Alzheimer’s cope with death

Part of life is that we must cope with the pain of losing the people who we love most. Unfortunately, this knowledge won’t ease our pain.
If your surviving parent is living with dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, which affects an estimated 1 in 10 seniors, your grief may be amplified. In addition to processing your own feelings, you’ll likely want to find ways to help your surviving parent cope with the loss of his or her spouse. This can be challenging, but don’t despair. There are some things you can do to make this process easier for both of you.
1. Talk About It
Far too often, we avoid having open discussions about our grief and pain. Talking about the loss of a loved one and fond memories is one of the most helpful ways to heal. To assist the healing process, researchers recommend speaking openly and compassionately about the loss. Your loved one may be confused or forgetful, and you might have to repeat painful conversations. Try to put yourself in your parent’s shoes and use empathy whenever you can.
2. Handle the Logistics
There are many emotional challenges with carrying out final arrangements, including planning and financing a funeral, handling family conflicts, transporting the remains, going over the will and other legal documents, handling life insurance policies, and more. All this can be overwhelming for someone with Alzheimer’s. Use this time around family to delegate some tasks to other family members. Consider your own needs and don’t be afraid to contact a grief counselor, trained therapist, or bereavement specialist for support, if needed.
3. Be Compassionate
Your parent’s grief process might look very different from your own, and that’s okay. Grief is different for everyone, and your parent’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis may complicate the grieving process.
It can be difficult for Alzheimer’s sufferers to control their emotions, to understand situations, or to remember important details, making a difficult situation even harder. Do your part to help the grief bring your family closer together.
For more information on aging related issues contact Elderbridge Agency on Aging at www.elderbridge.org, or by calling 800-243-0678. You may also contact LifeLong Links at www.lifelonglinks.org, or by calling 866-468-7887.